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That evening
It was one of your jokes, again
That sent me down, laughing like a maniac.

There was nobody else there,
But I cupped my hands over my mouth.
It was too loud for me.

Sometime this point,
I forgot it all
I laughed because I was laughing.
Like it was all I knew.
I held my stomach
And bent over
My eyes were closed,
Beyond me, like it happens in a dream
It wasn't-
Of course you did know.

Wasn't it then that I fell?
Shaking so hard
But still laughing
Struggling
Gagged
And you watched it all.

The ground was moist.
I remember starting to describe the rain, earlier
And you telling me why I shouldn't -
Because you wanted to see your own.

Mate, for that-
I wouldn't say you left me to die
Or for this, that you could've not known

I was just laughing, wasn't I?